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Geography teacher: How can you prove that the world is round?
Fred: But I never said it was, sir.
Geography teacher: Good, just stay that way.
Who conquered half the world, laying eggs along the way?
Attila the Hen.
One Irishman was showing off his knowledge to another, so he asked him if he knew what shape the world was.
"I don't," said the second.
"It's the same shape as the buttons on my jacket," said the first.
"Square," said the second.
"That's my Sunday jacket," said the first. "I meant my weekday jacket. Now what shape is the world?"
"Square on Sundays, round on weekdays," said the second Irishman.
Fred: They say ignorance is bliss.
Betty: Then you should be the happiest boy in the world.