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What do you call an elephant in a phone box?

What do ghosts use to phone home?
A terror-phone.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that?
I keep getting calls in the night.

At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. "I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line. "That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

I see you've burnt your ear.
Were you doing the ironing when the phone rang?

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