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What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster?

Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?
He got tired of kicking him around.

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

What does a polite monster say when he meets you for the first time?
Pleased to eat you!

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?
Edward Woodward.

What does a monster do when he loses his head?
He calls a head hunter.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?
He spent all day gargoyling.

What do you call a monster with four wooden heads?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would.

On which day do monsters eat people?

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?
The bogeyman.

Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table?
Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.

First monster: I have a hunch.
Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

Did you hear the joke about the two monsters who crashed?
They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.

How do you address a monster?
Very politely.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Turner who?
Turner round, there's a monster breathing down your neck.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Oliver who?
Oliver lone and I'm frightened of monsters.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aida who?
Aida whole village 'cos I'm a monster.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Teheran who?
Teheran very slowly - there's a monster behind you.

Did you hear about the monster who had twelve arms and no legs? H
e was all fingers and thumbs.

Why did the monster lie on his back?
To trip up low-flying aircraft.

One day a boy was walking down the street when he saw a sea monster standing on the corner looking lost. The boy put a lead on the sea monster and took him to the police station. "You should take him to the museum," said the police officer. The next day the police officer saw the boy in the town still with the monster on a lead. "I thought I told you to take him to the museum," said the policeman. "I did," said the boy, "and today I'm taking him to the cinema."

How do you keep monster in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow .

What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster?
A purple people eater.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Kenya who?
Kenya save me from the monsters?

Where is the monster's temple?
On the side of his head.

How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20,000 fathoms?
Drop him a line.

What should you call a polite, friendly, kind, good looking monster?
A failure.

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