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Home - L - Lies Jokes

Fred: I Can't stop telling lies.
Harry: I don't believe you.

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?
Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a witch!
You'd better lie down for a spell.

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.

Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them.

Does he tell lies?
Let's just say his memory exaggerates.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spider.
What a web of lies!

How did the midget get into the police force?
He lied about his height.

What do you call a skeleton that's always telling lies?
A boney phony.

It's a note from the teacher about me telling lies - but it's not true.

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