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Why are witches' finger nails never more than eleven inches long?
Because if they were twelve inches they'd be a foot.

What did the monster want to eat in the restaurant?
The finger bowl.

Dad, what are all the holes in the new garden shed?
They're knot-holes.
What do you mean they're not holes?
I can put my finger into them.

My husband really embarrassed me yesterday.
We were drinking tea at a friend's house and he drank his with his little finger sticking out.
But that's considered polite in some circles.
Not with the teabag hanging from it, it's not.

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