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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - One Liners

Clinton's Quickies - A collection of short jokes and one liners
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Have you noticed?
Everything Bill Clinton does these days is stuff usually billed by the hour.

Q: Who becomes President when the President dies?
A: Bill Clinton.

Heh, there's Monica Blewhimsky...
I mean Lewinsky.

Linda Tripp: That was Bill again. He said he needs a Hummer.
I gave him the extension to the Pentagon Motor Pool.
Monica: I don't think...oh never mind.

Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years?
A: Unite the Republican Party.

Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
A: They were both Bill Clinton.

The world is destroyed by a massive meteor. The Pope arrives in heaven and recognizes President Clinton's face in the crowd. 'I can't wait to meet our Blessed Virgin' says the Pope. 'Sorry' says Clinton 'I'm afraid you're five minutes too late.'

President explaining Paula Jones case: 'I believe it's just a simple mis- understandin'. What I said was 'Ya better GO DOWN there...otherwise yer goin' BLOW the JOB...'

President to Monica: I'll meet you at the Oval Orifice...
I mean Office...

Q: You know what the problem is with political jokes is?
A: They get elected.

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