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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - One Liners

Clinton's Quickies - A collection of short jokes and one liners
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THE CLINTON OATH: I pledge to tell some of the truth, the partial truth, and everything but the truth.

Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his voice?
A: He keeps having to eat his words.

MONICA: I have a sore throat.
BILL: Can I feel your pain?

Question: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Answer: With the Titanic only 1500 went down.

Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
A: So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

Q: In Arkansas, what new use have they found for sheep?
A: Wool.

OPERATOR: Motel Six-teen Hundred...can I help you? Yea we got'll be $500,000 for the first adult and $200,000 for each additional adult. Young girls stay and get eaten free. We also have the Lincoln Bedroom Suite...

1st WHITE HOUSE AIDE: He's busy working on the State of the Union.
2nd WHITE HOUSE AIDE: From the look on Hillary's face he'd better work on the State of THEIR Union.

850 women in the Washington DC area were polled and asked 'Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?
89.5% responded 'Never again.'

Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas?
A: Highway 55.

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