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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - One Liners

Clinton's Quickies - A collection of short jokes and one liners
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Fancying himself as something of a Kennedy successor, President Clinton had hoped to bid on Marylin Monroe's famous dress at the auction.
Unfortunately he'd already blown his wad on another dress.

Q: Why didn't Bill send Chelsea to a public school?
A: He didn't want her Secret Service protection to be out-gunned.


  1. Coward in Chief of the military
  2. Adulterer in Chief
  3. Mr. Hillary Rodham Clinton

FIRST GUY: What's that song they always play when the Pres. walks in?
SECOND GUY: I believe it's called "Inhale to the Chief".

Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them

HILLARY: Bill, have you met my new intern, Lorena Bobbitt?

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
A: To promote off-shore drilling.

WHITE HOUSE AIDE: I hear they doubled the body protection Secret Service force for the President tonight.
ANOTHER AIDE: Wow! More terrorist threats?
FIRST AIDE: No, Hillary's back in town.

FIRST GUY: Did you hear the President has started a new prayer group that meets with him at the White House?
SECOND GUY: Just what we need - more people groaning on their knees in the Oval Office!

Q: Bill, Hillary, and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved?
A: The United States of America.

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