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Home - C - Clinton Jokes - One Liners

Clinton's Quickies - A collection of short jokes and one liners
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Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after the media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles. She emerged two days later with no ears

During his January 2000 State of the Union address Pres. Clinton asked Congress to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.
I'll bet he was thinking:
"I already know one women I'd like to authorize violence against."

CLINTON REVIEWING A LINEUP OF NEW INTERNS:
Sorry sweetie. Close but no cigar!

Q: How do you spot Bill Clinton in a room full of secret service agents?
A: He's the stiff one.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

Unfortunately for us Clinton's "longest peacetime expansion" occured mostly within the confines of the Oval Office.

The Communications Office of the Clinton White House always and without fails tells the truth.
It will either be real truth, half truth, or made up truth.

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.

Q: What are the two featured songs at the Clinton Inauguration?
A: "Back in the USSR," followed by "Inhale to the Chief."

WHITE HOUSE ACCOUNTANT: I finally the found the discrepancy!
They had the Presidential humidore under Furnishings instead of Payroll.

 

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