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Why was the big, hairy, two headed monster top of the class at school?
Because two heads are better than one.

Fred: I was top of the class last week.
Mom: How did you manage that?
Fred: I managed to answer a question about elephants.
Mom: What question?
Fred: Well, the teacher asked us how many legs an elephant had, and I said five.
Mom: But that wasn't right.
Fred: I know, but it was the nearest anyone got.

"Don't worry Miss Smoth," said the principal to the new teacher. "You'll cope with your new class, but they'll keep you on your toes." "How's that, sir?" asked the teacher. "They always put thumbtacks on the chairs."

Fred: I'm the most advanced boy in my class.
Harry: How do you know?
Fred: I, sit at the front!

"Fred," said the teacher, "point out Australia for me on the map. Fred went to the front of the class, picked up the pointer and showed the rest of the class where Australia was. "Well done! Now, Harry! Can you tell us who discovered Australia?" "Er . . . Fred, sir?"

Fred's teacher got so fed up with her fooling around in class that he wrote a letter of complaint to her father. "What's all this about?" roared Dad, "Your teacher says he finds it impossible to teach you anything."
"I told you he was no good," said Fred.

"I did not come into the classroom to listen to you lot being impertinent," complained the teacher.
"Oh! Where do you usually go, sir?"

Father: I want to take my girl out of this terrible math class.
Teacher: But she's top of the class.
Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class.

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