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Baby Skunk: But, Mom, why can't I have a chemistry set for my birthday?
Mother: Because it would stink the house out, that's why.

"Fred," asked the chemistry teacher, "what is HNO 3?"
"Oh, er. . .just a minute, sir, er. . .it's on the tip of my tongue. . ."
"Well in that case spit it out. It's nitric acid!"

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