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Why did the insects drop the centipede from their football team?
It took him too long to put his boots on.
Why was the centipede late?
Because she was playing "This Little Piggy" with her baby.
What is worse than a crocodile with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot.
What did one centipede say to another?
"You've got a lovely pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs. . ."
What has 100 legs and goes in one ear and out the other?
A centipede in a corn field.