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Why do barbers make good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts.

A man sitting in a barber's chair noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, "Yes, sir, no one's been in for a shampoo yet."

A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair.
"Haircut, sir?" asked the barber.
"No, just change the oil, please!"

How much for a haircut?
Barber: Fifteen dollars.
How much for a shave?
Barber: Ten dollars.
Right - shave my head.

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?
Cruising on a clipper.

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?
Because he always uses a razor.

Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir.
Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you?

Barber: And how old are you, little man?
Fred: Eight.
Barber: And do you want a haircut?
Fred: Well, I certainly didn't come in for a shave!

My barber is a specialist in road map shaves.
How come?
When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.

Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No.
Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.

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