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Who was that on the phone, Fred?
Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

In Australia, I used to chase kangaroos on horseback.
Well, I never. I didn't know kangaroos rode horses.

Sam: But I don't want to go to Australia,
Mum. Mother: Shut up and keep swimming.

What was the largest island in the world before Australia was discovered?
Australia.

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