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My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the Americans and my father fought with the Australians.
How come your family could never get on with anybody?

I've traced my ancestors right back to royalty.
Oh really... King Kong?

English boy: My grandfather was touched on the shoulder by Queen Victoria, and that made him a knight.

American boy: That's nothing! My grandfather was touched on the head with a tomahawk by an Apache and that made him an angel.

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